Stop blaming others. Take ownership of your life and start changing your world today.
I see three types of people in this world:
- whingers who do nothing but complain and blame everyone but themselves.
- whingers who complain about everything and they also have all the ideas in the universe on how to fix things – unfortunately they never actually do anything about it, or their ideas are too short sighted.
- people who are doing something about it.
Which one are you?
If you are a 1 or 2 then your world is never going to change and you only have yourself to blame. If you are a 3 then you probably know something the 1’s and 2’s haven’t worked out (or are unwilling to accept) yet … and that’s, by accepting your part in anything that happens to you, you can do something about it, and change the outcome.
There is a saying “We are what we do” which means among other things, we cannot hope to change the world unless we are willing to change ourselves. So if you want to change your world then you have to be able to change yourself first.
I believe that in any given situation, good or bad, we are responsible. To be fair, we might not be 100% responsible for any given consequence, but we always contribute to anything that happens to us at any given time. If we can accept that then we can change our world. Don’t accept that and blame everyone else but ourselves and we will never change your world. If you don’t believe me then try changing anyone or anything else in this world other than yourself and see what happens:
- tell that tree to stop growing.
- tell your partner to go to the gym and lose some weight (please don’t blame me for their reaction).
- tell that other driver to speed up or slow down.
How did you go?
So how can we be responsible in any given situation? Let me give you an example. You are driving home and go through a green light at an intersection only to be hit by a drunk driver coming in another direction and end up dead. Most would blame the drunk driver for what happened. But let’s look at it more objectively:
- What about the other drivers on the road who saw the drunk driver weaving dangerously and didn’t call the police?
- What about the drunk drivers’ mates who saw him/her leave and get into his/her car?
- What about the police officer who happened to be looking the wrong way and missed the drunk driver doing something that normally would have resulted in them pulling the drunk driver over?
- What about the place that served the drunk driver their drinks?
- What about you for not looking in both directions before going through the intersection even though you had the green light and the other directions were red?
The fact of the matter is everyone is responsible for what ends up happening – admittedly some more than others.
When anything happens to us – whether it’s something that happens to us or where we find ourselves in life – and no matter how unpleasant it may be, the reality is that it is a series of cascading events and choices by everyone (including ourselves) that led to that result. In my example that result is you being hit and ending up attending your own funeral.
It doesn’t matter if you were in the right and had the right of way. What’s the point in being right if you are dead? Taking that extra moment to make sure you are okay (by going through the intersection either slower or leaving enough room to change course if needed) is a small price to pay to reduce the likelihood of a potentially serious injury if someone else made a poor decision. The world is full of people who do not know how to think, or who do not understand or accept the consequences of their decisions so we really should accept that and act accordingly.
By taking responsibility for our own role in any given situation (and you don’t have to take 100% responsibility – that would be silly), we can change any given outcome. And this applies to anything we do in our life.
- If you consider yourself poor and don’t have enough money – stop blaming your boss for not giving you a pay rise and do something (and do more than just doing what you were employed for) to earn that pay rise. Try asking your employer what you can do to help them do better in their business in return for a pay rise.
- If you are feeling unfit and weak then change how you look at food and exercise and change your eating and movement behaviours.
- If you cannot get a job then find out exactly what employers want and work out a way to get it so they will hire you (i.e. become relevant).
Albert Einstein said “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results”. If you are whinging about the same things all the time then maybe you are insane by expecting something to change when you aren’t doing anything different.
I know there can be lots of excuses why you may not be able to change your world (and I am sure some of you have them coming to mind as you read this) but the reality is that there is only one thing holding you back – your own willingness to do something about it. If you have excuses not to change then the truth is it’s not important enough to you to want to change. Change may not be easy – I understand that. If you do not want to change then that’s fine with me but please don’t whinge about it – accept your choice and the consequences and stop expecting others to do it for you.
There are too many whingers in this world, and just as many people who are willing to listen to them. Don’t be another whinger. Stop blaming everyone but yourself for whatever ails you. Take responsibility for your own life by looking objectively at what’s going on around you and find different ways to get whatever it is you want (legally and without hurting others please). Changing may not be easy but do not let that become another excuse to not at least try. At the very least, others appreciate people who try and are generally more willing to help. If you change what you are doing then you can change the outcome. I know that’s true because I have changed my world and will continue to do so.
